Below are the 20 most recent journal entries recorded in angel's LiveJournal:

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Tuesday, March 8th, 2005
8:33 am	Fell of the face of the earth OK so its been months since I updated. Here are the highlights... * Trip to Chicago * Frank fired for sexual harrasing me/court date in april * Mike leaving for arizona in a week * Violet, Bj., and Jake live with me * B.j and me got into a huge argument over mike, I almost called the cops * I'm leaving in 10 days to see john in las vegas * In the midst of a broken heart and a couple drinks I hurt amy Its no excuse but I'm glad I said "no." ~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~* Current Mood: working (6 die young ♥ and save yourself)
Tuesday, December 7th, 2004
7:56 am	Heres your fucking honesty!!!!!!!! Basically I don't give a fuck. I'm so over this life its not even funny. Day after day its more disappionting than the last and I refuse to subject myself to it any longer. All the fuckers who claim they care.. fuck you. People who say one thing and do another, burn in hell. I'm so fucking furious and I want nothing to do with this bullshit. I've tried, god knows I have but I can't deal anymore. I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE ANYMORE!!!!. I'm not talking be in california, I mean I just don't want to BE period. Everyone leave me the fuck alone and I'm gonna crawl into a hole and wait for time to die. Where I shrivel up, starve, and slowly feel the life drain out of me and melt in a puddle of my own suffering. Don't fucking talk to me with your stupid ass lies. Don't fucking look at me with your fake smile. Fuck you Fuck you Fuck you, YOU made me like this...happy now. Please let me die soon. I beg you.... (3 die young ♥ and save yourself)
Sunday, November 28th, 2004
10:09 am	hmmm Octillo wells was sooo awesome. My ass hurts, my arms hurt, my shoulder blades hurt. I went riding with the boys at like 7 in the morning and they were going over all these huge jumps and going soooo fast. My helmet kept coming off and my ass would go way up in the air and crash back down. AY YI! So anyway, I really didn't want to go in the first place but I turned out to be totally wrong. I was so happy amy could go to! So yeah it was late night fires, early wake ups, sandwhiches, afternoon naps, rocky drives, and sand storms. I wanna get a little bike for me now. With my luck tho I better just invest in a helmet and settle for being a passenger, who knows? "Vi and Bj had a kid and Jake was his name. J.A.K.E. J.A.K.E J.A.K.E. and jake was his name!" Outta control trying to calm the baby down. :)Did I mention I got shit on and pissed on? (and save yourself)
Tuesday, November 2nd, 2004
8:09 am	October 31 2004 The wedding was so beautiful. Everything turned out perfectly. Amy is officially my sister and the boys are officially my brothers... basically we are an official family now. Although we never needed a minister to tell us that anyway. (1 die young ♥ and save yourself)
Friday, October 29th, 2004
7:32 am	let the bodies hit the floor I'm finally 20 years old. My birthday was awesome, better than I could have ever expected. I got great gifts, especially diamond earring from mike. <3 The party was soooo awesome. Most of the night all mixes together but I've basically come up with this... I was running all over the fucking place. haha... Everyone says "dude I saw you all over the place, person to person shaking hands with everyone, hugging them and moving on" and I was thinking "thats funny, I didn't see you once." Anyway, it was pimp. I was an awesome bartender and the hottest guys in the world were at this party. I got a lap dance from amy and then one from this guy who straight up looks like he's a model for american eagle or something. Anyway none of that mattered cause mike took me outside and told me all these wonderful things and reminded me that its all fun and games but he's got my heart. Heres a shock! I sobered up at about 4am not sure how and drove Hupp and special k home while mike drove amy and mat. I was trying to control hup from throwing fits. Damn guy dumped my purse out cause I wouldn't stop at dennys. haha.. oh my, these boys are crazy. So many awesome people were there and my party was the best present I could ever ask for. All the falls, all the laughs, all the hugs, and all the drinks... PERFECT. (and save yourself)
Thursday, October 21st, 2004
2:05 pm	(5 die young ♥ and save yourself)
Tuesday, October 19th, 2004
9:09 am	I sat there thinking about dieing. How I always feared it and I was about to face it. I was driving to go see James and Jessica saturday after I got off work at Spring Villas. I was on the "54 Freeway" going about 70MPH jammin listening to the used. Traffic seemed to be at a fine flow and for just a moment I looked over my left shoulder to make sure I was clear to move to that lane. When I looked back ahead of me this car was at a dead stop. I hit the breaks and turned to the left as quick as I could but it wasn't quick enough. I hit the tail side of it and it sent my car spinnning off the freeway, jumped the median and landed in a far off ditch. I passed out and when I came to there was a man beside me. He'd already taken my seat belt off, openedc my door and was holding my hand. I was remember asking him a million questions. "who are you?, call my mom, call my boyfriend, Am I bleeding, why does my chest burn, I think I'm on fire" Everything was like a dream. I looked through the shattered class and I could see tires rolling by from the ditch. I sat there thinking about dieing. How I always feared it and I was about to face it. I thought about everyone and what the last thing I said to them was and how I needed to say more. I searched through my car looking for my cell phone. Fighting the pain of every motion I took and avoided a mirror, I didn't want to see how hurt I was. Everything was thrown in my car and everything was broken and doors caved in. I called my mom and mike, well sorta. The stranger helped too. Then I was out of it again.... Exhausted, I closed my eyes and drifted to sleep. Paramedics, police, and firemen woke me up. Touching me everywhere asking where it hurt, how old was I, was I drinking? I was pulled from the car on a stretcher, neck brace, oxygen mask while traffic stared at me. Tests later I saw mike and my mom. Her first glance at me, I could see her heart breaking, thats when I knew I had a clearly visible injury. Seeing Amy was the most painful, I'm convinced. Now, 3 days after the accident I feel no better. The emotional pain is exceeding the physical at this point. My car I saw yesterday. Its not a car anymore. Its a pile of melted metal and broken glass. Its torn apart, its wrecked, its totaled. In matter of one second my life was almost snatched from me. The scene plays over and over again. It won't let me sleep or get through a day without crying. My burns make me look like a monster and body is so sore. I don't how long it will be before I'm healed internally or externally. How long until I drive a car or be a passenger with confidence of my safety, or turn my neck, or wear a normal shirt without feeling pain. Most of all I want to be able to go through the day and not have this haunting memory follow me every step. I had to take a break just now and call amy. This journal is too much reality for me. Meanwhile everyone, if I never said or not enough, I love you and I am thankful for you. Never leave someone with unsaid and resolved issues, you may not get another chance. I'm off to try and work. (2 die young ♥ and save yourself)
Tuesday, September 21st, 2004
6:45 pm	So I know its been a long time since I updated. Rerally, I dont know where to start. Theres been parties, fighties, chukie cheese, long talks, and you know the same ol' thing. Hopefully things are finally back on track with mike and I. Latley I've been practically living at the hospital while they figure out all these unheard of diseases that I have with no cure. Finch was a great concert and I was honored to be the bartender for nefer and jonathan. The big beautiful four bedroom house is ours as of today. Well I say "ours" but I probably won't be there till decedmber. now I just have to find the courage to tell jeff I won't be living with him much longer. I seriously can't take all his questions, following me around, coming into my room all hours of the damn night. I'm just at the end. Keiths initiation thing was realllllly awesome and its kinda inspired me to join the military. I'm looking forward to going to the ball this thurday cause everyone who knows me, knows I like to get all dressed up. Get my hair and makeup done and all that especially for free. :) So there it is..... I think I'm gunna live but hey life is unexpected. Sometimes I feel worthless and sometimes I feel pricless. (3 die young ♥ and save yourself)
Wednesday, August 25th, 2004
3:55 pm	Really love your peaches wanna shake your tree These past couple weeks have been fun-filled, stressed, and just overall emotional. Amy and I are now running/walking the golf course together after work all in an effort to improve my personal flaws. I really enjoy it and its been making a real difference in my happiness. Although there are alot of things that have been on my mind lately like: The fact that Mike and I are constantly put into postitions where important choices have to be made and I find myself almost always in tears about it. We finally did the whole "I love you" thing despite our fears of rejection from one another. It was always lingering on the tips of tongues but... I dunno, we're trying to be completly honest now. Its really something special but I just can't say quite yet what the future holds for us. Maybe something, maybe nothing. Life can be so demanding sometimes... I've recently come to the realization that I really am not like other girls. My whole way of thinking and my attitude to be down with everyone and not play mind games to get what I want, just proves it all. Anytime amy and I go out, we make best friends with practically everyone that crosses our paths. The night always ends with everyone wanting more. Its a really awesome ability to have. So in conclusion, I'm trying really hard to fix the things that I find unpleasant about myself and to find happiness about life in general. It seems to be working well and I'm not letting the people who once killed me, even make me flinch. And while this journal seems senseless and scattered, to some it makes perfect sense. (4 die young ♥ and save yourself)
Monday, August 9th, 2004
9:45 pm	Happy Birthday Nohea! (3 die young ♥ and save yourself)
Sunday, August 8th, 2004
4:38 pm	Your eyes could light a starless night... Last night was so awesome! We went to two different parties and as usual amy and I pimped it! haha! All these guys wanted MY altoids and random hot guys "hey I know your leaving but can we make out." Fuckin Drunks maybe I instigate it a little but I'm just playin! Joe was really hott and I had so much butterflies in stomch thinking about seeing him all night. But he made me feel really comfortable. Even though maybe only half of what he said was true they were the sweetest things. I adored it. OhOh and we went through the mcdonalds drive thru like 10 times before we went to the party. (turn back in time) haha. I was ordering and I was like "I'm looking for a hot guy" and he's all "I'm right here" alllll confident. Like you wouldn't believe! So anyways we were talking and he said he makes all this money and spends it on his women. OMG! Hiliarious. When we were getting gas he was whistling across the parking lot and waving us over. It was fuckin comedy! So yeah, Joe and I went to the car to "look for shelleys camera" and I was like "this tangerine altiod tastes really good." and I took it out of my hand and was just looking at it and then he put it in his mouth and told me if I wanted it back I had to get it. MAAAAAEEEEHH! HAHA... So uhhhhhh... it was awesome! Then amy and I got our asses whipped with this thick ass stick but it was kinda cool. Guys are such dawgs though getting turned on yelling all these things out. I liked it though. So the night went on and there were so many cool people. I finally went to bed at 5:00 in the morning after droppin amy and shelley off, seeing the mansions with joe and overall it was great. Alright well I'm off to la jolla to see the sunset. :) (and save yourself)
Saturday, July 31st, 2004
10:43 pm	dont pimp my ride its already PIMP! THIS IS MY CAR! ANDDDD me and amy. yay! (6 die young ♥ and save yourself)
9:42 pm	I'm always being a grown up, WTF! I'm enjoying the new place,its so much bigger than my studio but damn its so different. I'll miss my little ol home though. A year went by quick and sometimes I d that place but overall theres awesome memories. It was my way to independance... Crazy I tell you.... I'm exhausted, running out of money, stressed, and desperate for a second job. I need a night of fun. Hmmmm..... Anyone want to rescue me? MMMMUUUUUUUUUUAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH! (6 die young ♥ and save yourself)
Sunday, July 25th, 2004
12:45 pm	Amy was the believer all along Straight after work I went down to the dealership, it was completly unexpected. When all was said and done I drove my car home. I am now the owner of a 2000 Mitsubishi Gallant. Wow! My own car. I put $800 down and the payement with my insurance are $360 mo. It all seems like a dream to me but I know one thing thats true.... "History repeates itself." No one in my family thinks I can handle this car payement on top of everything else but I will. Just like they didn't think I could have my own place, here I am a year later, stronger than ever. There are no limits that can be put on me. So if you wanna feel like a fool, go ahead and doubt me. I'm gonna work really hard to make sure that I can manage all my bills, rent, and now a car. I have two job interviews today for a part time job and we'll see what happens. Homies I have a CAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Current Mood: My dreams are comin true (4 die young ♥ and save yourself)
Tuesday, July 20th, 2004
6:45 am	I want food *knotted hair, I love car washes *random guys who read to us from his shoe *I'm not appreciated *Mike brought me a rose to work *Amys bed is reeeallly soft * actually I have nothing too interesting to say... Can you BELIEVE it!????! Current Mood: hungry (3 die young ♥ and save yourself)
Friday, July 16th, 2004
9:30 am	Watch out, I have license. Excuse licensed driver coming through AAAAAhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... its such a relief to have a license. I feel so...... :) ah, nevermind. Current Mood: ecstatic (3 die young ♥ and save yourself)
Friday, July 9th, 2004
9:43 am	Warped Tour Pics http://www.dodge-photos.com/warped/enlarge.cfm?Email=angel_marie1023@yahoo.com&CID=219825&Photo=1&PID=1081831705518&BID= (7 die young ♥ and save yourself)
Monday, July 5th, 2004
11:03 am	You see you'd love to run home *The fireworks at the beach were amazing *Medori sours are really good and I know how to make em *Old man at the beach drew on my boob and there were like 10 guys just staring down my shirt talking shit *Hupp and Lauler chased them down and told them a little about respectin a lady *Amy and I are moving to oceanside one day *I'm mike's goddess You see you'd love to run home But you know you ain't got one 'Cause you're livin' in a world that you're best forgotten Current Mood: exhausted Current Music: F work (1 die young ♥ and save yourself)
Sunday, July 4th, 2004
11:59 am	Flip the sirens, hit the lights, close the door and I am gone El Cajon Speedway is the best thing ever invented!!!! Amy and I got so loooooost trying to get there. I have no sense of direction behind the wheel. NONE! So we stopped in the ghetto of el cajon and some scary people at this random ass liquor store gave us the shittiest directions ever. They were nappy for sho! So then we were lost again like 20 min later and these hotties at the gas station gave us directions. Its a good thing though he wrote them down cause amy I were concentrating only on one thing and it wasn't what he was saying. Then there was this car that peeled out, trying to act all cool and amy said "soooorry tough guy". I was laughing and repeating "soooorry" like she said but she didn't catch why I was saying sorry and laughing. So she asks "why are you saying sorry, are you pooting or something?" HAHAHA omg! I almost died seriously. Amy is very retarded, god I love her!!! Maybe you just had to be there...??? Finally an hour later we arrived. The whole family was pretty much there and mike was too. The races were awesome, is it wrong to love it when they crash? Well, I do. The fireworks were pretty and I'm always reminded of the fact that john really is the cutest kid in the world. Now I'm working. I'm off in a few hours and then its off to jeanettes house in oceanside for a barbecue and fireworks show on the beach. It'll be a good time. So until then my loves.... (and save yourself)
Saturday, July 3rd, 2004
11:25 am	The taste of disappointment Last night was the second night where I stood in front of petco park to see the padres play and didn't get to go in. I hate standing there hearing the thousands of people cheering and knowing again, we were too late. By the time mike found parking and met me, they were in the top of the 8th. Oh well.... seriously though, that freakin sucks! TWICE! Anyway,we headed over to TGI fridays... Another pair of wasted tickets...another wasted breath (3 die young ♥ and save yourself)